I have noticed a lot of people making a business out of life coaching and spiritual endeavors, without any qualifications whatsoever. I am not one to take the stance that someone can’t just “just be good” at something like organizing and that includes your time and spaces. BUT-

When it comes to areas of counselling this can be a big mistake and here is why

I saw a person comment on a thread “you are never responsible for your trauma or mistakes, but you are responsible to heal them”. I disagreed with her right away and though she didn’t answer me, I looked at her profile to see her area of practice and there was nothing in her education that indicates any formal education in psychology, not even the smallest bit or close, there was nothing to show for her courses, as there were none, but she did have a business for “helping woman overcome trauma” and the like and is on every social media you can think of, without one ounce of credibility or education.

When it comes to organizing, I don’t think we need a class, but when it comes to psychology, yes, we do. It is a very complex area.

The Mistake

First – we are in most cases responsible for our trauma and I’ll explain below. We are also responsible for our mistakes. We are NOT responsible to heal our traumas, though we should for our overall mental and emotional well being – if we don’t, that is where we are “responsible” for the consequences that will ensue for ignoring all the red flags -negative signs, negative symptoms and negative life situation(s). To tell someone with such confidence that you are not responsible causes harm. Here are some examples of what I mean-

When you are NOT responsible

You are (were) a child

You were randomly attacked

You were an innocent victim

When you ARE responsible

You put yourself in that situation due to your lifestyle

You made the choice to commit an act that you knew was wrong

You married or made house with a person who you knew was abusive to you and your children

You stay in situations that you KNOW are dangerous and harmful

You committed a crime

We Can Also Be Responsible For Others

Take for example that person (a) is responsible for children, either their own or those of others and they allow, in ANY way, harm to come to them – they are responsible, intentional or not. If there was a reasonable way that they could have better protected and shielded them from harm and didn’t – they are responsible.

Verbal abuse – If you verbally abuse people you are responsible for your words

If you assault anyone – you are responsible

If you neglect someone in your care – you are responsible

If you say cruel things to children or other disadvantaged people – you are responsible for that.

To This end

NEVER pay anyone for a service who are not qualified to provide it – check them out – ask for their credentials, and be sure they match up with what they are saying they are educated in and selling you –

People will tell what you want to hear to get paid, don’t buy into that. I just showed you just a few ways where we are and are not responsible and even with those there are hidden benefits, yes we benefit in many cases of our mistakes and our traumas that are not seen by the eye but felt in the mind – what did it teach me? Of course, a child being abused in any way is horrific, yet they still learn who not to trust, they still learn to trust their instinct (and that is sad because they probably did but the caretaker or parent didn’t trust the child’s instinct) however, this child will grow into an adult and if this child has children, guess who is going to trust her children’s instinct about someone? Guess who is going to protect her child(ren) and his or herself? The only issue here is, the child needed therapy to deal with the trauma so they don’t become overprotective, overbearing, or a recluse. Children are resilient they say – maybe, but they are not bulletproof and they are not capable of unpacking all the trauma.

Thank you for reading.