This is a thing – and it is -I believe derived from many different sources that give conflicting advice, which by the way is ear always unqualified people that are on social media on every app spreading their view and ill informed “opinions” as fact.
No, you do not have to be and nor should you be positive all of the time, when you do that, you are denying yourself the means to cope with challenging situations, shrugging it off with a smile, and focusing on something else is harmful. You not only have a right but an obligation to yourself to take a negative situation and work out how you can cope with it REALISTICALLY. Burying our head in the sand time and time again can create chronic stress among other things -avoidance via “just be positive” isn’t going to work in the long haul.
Another trait of toxic positive people is the refusal to listen to a friend’s problems, or attend a family function because one person they dislike will be there (If they are so positive, why wouldn’t they be able to make it into a positive day anyway?) Because it’s toxic. Another is the refusal to see or even consider another’s viewpoint – especially if it isn’t draped in white fairy dust with a sprinkle of glitter to obscure reality.
While it is great to be positive as much as we can -we also have real challenges, we deal with and are exposed to grief and loss, betrayal’s, financial issues, bills, homelessness, hunger, divorce, separations, and the news. We have to deal with our emotions and not bury our heads in fairy dust. We can deal with them by considering the most positive way we can digest it all, but to do that we have to face it and reconcile it.
A toxic positive person begins to lack empathy and compassion – you can tell them how devastated you are about a betrayal for example, and instead of hearing you out you are dismissed with a quick, “oh you are better off without them” type of answer – this is NOT being a good friend, as you were not asked questions such as what happened? How are you feeling? Is there anything I can do to help? When someone dismisses your feelings, they are toxic, whether it’s with positivity or not,
Lisa M C.
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