We all have them and we all believe that ours is right – and the thing I want to address is that what works for you, may not for someone else. Respect or at least be tolerant/indifferent of how someone else copes gets by in life – it is, after all, their life.
If their beliefs conflict with reality it may become too much, they will seek answers but until then, don’t tell them they are wrong – how would you feel if someone told you how you manage your life (mind, body and spirituality) was wrong?
Don’t Offer Advice to Those Who Did Not ask you for it – the “I don’t know what do to do” is usually an opening to where you begin to offer the advice – pause and ask – are you asking me for advice? If at that point they aren’t – simply say ” I understand” but don’t be held hostage to the conversation or you will be in an endless loop of “I don’t know what to do – but don’t tell me”. Perhaps say ” I hope you can figure it out” and politely end that conversation.
Sometimes – almost all the time – people want to vent and if you are a friend, listen and refrain from offering advice. Instead, offer comfort. Refrain from “oh I had that happen to me and this is what I did” <– that is advice. They need comfort and encouragement. I am famous for having done that to my friends and family – I am working on correcting that.
This is because people also want to help and it is a natural response to someone going through a rough time.
If they ask, great – give them advice – but don’t do it with an expectation that they will take it. I have heard many people say “don’t come crying to me, I offered you advice and you didn’t listen or take it”. Then you offered the wrong advice or advice that reflects your life and experiences and not theirs and that is why professional counselling is so important.
Holistic Counselling is the way forward for them. This method of counselling is client-centred and aims to empower the client to self-awareness whereby they are given proven tools and techniques, along with counselling to discover the solution to their problem.
I have been looking into a product called the “harmonic Egg”, there are several businesses (especially here in the United States) with them and I think it is well worth giving them a go.
There is also using “nature”, eating whole foods or live foods – like fresh vegetables and fruits (not raw meat or the sort) When we use the term “live” we mean organic and fresh fruit and vegetables. Everything on earth is “live and living” – us, trees, plants, vegetables, herbs, and so forth. But changing our diet can really impact our energy both physically and spiritually. I am not advocating for vegan diets though I do believe that could be a good change, even if temporary, that you can do for your health – I am advocating for you to eat HEALTHY no matter your diet. Try to avoid sugars, pasta, rice, and white potatoes if you love potatoes as I do, yams have many health benefits but also sugars – I cup has 6 grams of sugar. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweet_potato
If you are friends with a person who is doing the loop of negative experiences and mindset -quietly distance yourself and protect your positive energy – always I AM NOT suggesting you leave a friend in emotional pain and confusion – but to take time to determine what you have to offer vs what they are willing to truly take on.
You can not change the course they are on, If you can not reason with them and you can’t be there for them – leave space so they can be there for themselves. I realize this sounds cruel, but what they need is professional help and they have to be willing to seek and participate in it. Of course, never ignore signs of self-harm or where you believe they may harm another – call the authorities who are trained to deal with their state of mind with love and compassion.
We need to do better and our self-awareness comes into play here – have a friend that needs to cry and vent? Let them… Offer comfort and try to build their confidence with truthful things about them, but don’t offer advice they aren’t asking for and if you do give advice give that which comes from your heart – it should be based on love, and their well-being and most importantly it should include “please go see a someone”. I say this to protect your energy and to encourage your friend to see me who can empower them to learn the skill of coping and solving or resolving their issues without alienating their friends at the same time and much much more.
Thank you for reading
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