Holistic Counseling is the recognition and the support of the mind body and spiritual connection.
To explain this, I’m going to use some examples
1.) when you’re really worried about something – that would be something heavily on your mind where you may not be able to sleep well and when you can’t, that is showing that it affects your body! So there is your mind and body connection
2.) If you’re really exhausted; mentally and physically, and you work a full-time job or you’re a very busy person in any respect you may wish for a break, and then you come down with the flu or a severe cold the provides you with that break. I’m not talking about a very sore throat, sneezing constantly, a runny nose or a very stuffy nose accompanied by a terrible headache and extreme tiredness. There is your mind and body connection.
3.) My last example might be that you have to finish a project that you may not have even started and you only have hours or a day or two to finish it. Some people are driven by this – for example – type A personality, but for most people they become very stressed by this and may experience not feeling well, every tired, a headache, watery eyes. this is your mind and body connection.
This is just a very small example of the mind body and spirit connection.
Now our spiritual connection is when we’re in these situations and we’re dealing with these stresses we take 5 minutes close our eyes remove everything from our mind breathe in and breathe out and count our breaths as we inhale, and we continue to do this and so we feel our body has relaxed. You can also listen to my visualization meditations with your eyes closed to help you relax, and you will relax. That’s just one example of your spiritual connection that you can use for relaxation, but you can also use spirituality to heal your body, to connect with your higher self or your spirit guide which will give you guidance and support, but we will talk more about that and another post.
Your connection with your higher power would be the best connection that you ever make in your life.
There are many reasons for this choice. I will make a list of why below
I wanted to help people, especially children and the lonely elderly as well as those struggling with no one really helping or listening
Having always been a person who has believed in a higher power and spirituality it was and is a perfect fit
Medications are necessary for some people but not all. Often times we have been prescribed medications for life events that we can solve or resolve medication-free – leaving our bodies healthier and our minds. Sometimes also a herbal remedy or essence is just as appropriate – and I will make a post about many of them.
I have always been a solver – I like to be involved and help how I can, but without the education to know what is and what is not appropriate – such as the “if I were you” approach is inappropriate – I never knew that! And it was something I had said and demonstrated for years – never realizing it is basically dismissive and disempowers my friend or colleague from the ability to resolute the issue themselves. Also, there is the “Oh, yes, I know what you mean” and off the speaker goes about situations that relate to the friend’s issue at hand – NOT a good way to help anyone- It is something we have all done to “relate” to the issue and believe innocently that it comforts them – but the reality is – the whole thing goes from your friend’s issue to YOURS! Not helpful.
I also love that this is not meant to keep a client entangled in therapy for years – its purpose is to empower the client so they are spiritually armed for the situation they came in for but also situations like it in the future. This kind of counseling is to EMPOWER you to connect with your inner resources.!
Any Questions?
Just ask, I am always happy to assist and my true desire is to empower as many people as I possibly can.
You probably already know that it starts with you, but here I want to discuss why it does and what you can do to get there.
Everything begins with us and only us as individuals, what we think, feel and express doesn’t only affect you, but the entire planet.
Self Love- that is honestly loving yourself. Have you ever heard the expression “you can’t love someone else until you love yourself?” I know I have and years ago I thought “what???? I can love anyone I want.
Self Love includes accepting yourself for who you are, respecting your body, mind, and spirit, and loving who you are as a person – your kindness, your joyfulness, and respect of self, nature, and others.
How you get there is by doing some work on yourself – replace all negative self-talk with positive talk, use positive affirmations like “Every day I am aware of who I am, I am kindness, I am joy, I am healthy and I am love.” It is important to note that you must be able to connect to the affirmation – by feeling it and believing it is true- initially, you may not, but after you say it enough -out loud – you should be able to connect with it. Next, you will need to address the film slides your subconscious plays for you – you know the ones that remind you of that traumatic event, that scary time, that time someone berated you, humiliated you, embarrassed you, struck you, or otherwise hurt you deeply – Thank it for reminding you while saying “I learned my lesson(s) from that and I no longer need it. I have forgiven (insert name) and I have moved on from it, therefore I no longer want the memory, However; if you haven’t forgiven, now is a great time to do that – if you want others to forgive and accept you, you must be willing to forgive and accept “them” without exception. I’m sure you have read that forgiveness is not necessarily for them, but for you. If the bad memories keep coming back, try again, and be sure you have truly forgiven, not just saying “ok, I forgive them” that isn’t going to work.
Next, you will address your inner anger and hatred – yes you have both – if you don’t think you do – think back to posts you have seen of an abused child and how the parents beat the child for days – starved it, and even broke its baby teeth – what comment did you put in the comment section? Or what about the dog starved to death? There are all kinds of triggering stories online, and your comments reveal what’s inside of you. Should you not feel outraged? No, you shouldn’t, instead, you should quietly send love and healing to the child and perhaps visualize the dog healthy and running around in the universe playing ball.
Remove triggering pages – remember “what you put into your mind via television, posts on any media, has a profound effect on your psyche.” So keep those positive, healthy, and joyful”
When you love yourself – you spread love throughout the planet,
When you accept yourself you also “without exception” accept others and this vibrates throughout the world
When you are kind you spread kindness, which also vibrates throughout the world
Whatever you put out vibrates throughout the world – so make it good!! That means your thoughts are matching your actions and feelings, they all come together for the greater good of all.
The crystal’s energetic vibrations interact with our body’s energetic vibrations – an energy exchange that can promote psychological healing and overall well-being.
You should always use a stone you feel connected to or drawn to. Hold your chosen crystal in your hand while meditating, or you can place it on a chakra for healing a particular area. For reference, Chakras are as follows: The chakras are located at the crown of the skull, pineal gland (brow), thyroid (throat), heart, solar plexus, genitals(sacral), and perineum (base) and you would use crystals with points and the points facing either to the sky or to earth when laying them on the body. The color you should use should match the chakra, for example, the crown is violet so you would consider an amethyst crystal for that area.
It is important to note that crystals need to be cleaned of negative energy after every use. You can smudge them with sage, place them under the moonlight, expose them to the wind, or cleanse them with cool purified water, never use hot water.
You can select a stone based on your astrological sign — tell me your zodiac sign and I will give you some good suggestions!!
Here I will make a short list of psychological conditions causing physical symptoms – and which stone is best for use in healing,
1.) Addiction – Amethyst for withdraw
2.) Anger – Smoky Quartz
3.) Death – acceptance – Rose Quartz.
4.) Depression – Moonstone.
There are so many more that we can discuss in a counseling session, that include how to attract abundance using a crystal or heal envy.
Which ever crystal(s) you are drawn to – be sure to energetically connect with the crystal, hold it, keep it in your sight in the home, meditate with it, and ask it questions when you feel you have connected with it.
If you are interested in learning more about a crystal for a specific situation, just ask! I am happy to give you as much insight as you need.
Self-talk will remind you of an occasion where you were acting out in ego or going way beyond who you are as a person to please someone you love, leaving you with regret and/or shame. I
t will also remind you of times that others have hurt you deeply, the words they said, what they did, and how it made you feel.
It will remind you of a time that you were abandoned by someone you loved and trusted or a time when you abandon someone that loved and trusted you.
It will remind you of your childhood and the negative side of your relationship with a sibling, parent(s), or relative – and of course, those who grew up in foster care and experienced this loss with parents/family on a very deep level.
It will remind you of any time in your life that you abandon an animal, your mind will remind you if hurt or killed an animal where you feel guilt, shame/regret.
It will remind you of your pet’s natural passing or being killed by another.
If you have lost a child, it will remind you of the details of that happening, and the same if you have hurt your child or killed your child/or another person and the details of that.
It will remind you of everything that keeps you in the loop of self-sabotage because that is what the result is. You could wake up feeling amazing, get started on your normal routine, and as soon as you take your focus from the tasks, it pops into your own mind reminding you of negative, hurtful things this never stops, and if you pay attention your amazing mood has vanished. I call it self-sabotage because your focus went from what you want to think about to what your mind tells you or suggests to you to think about instead and you, like nearly everyone else listened to it and went to the memory following your mind.
What It Doesn’t Remind You Of
Your accomplishments, compassion, empathy, and the grace you have given to others.
It doesn’t remind you of your hopes, dreams, and goals. It tells you that you’ll never accomplish them – don’t listen.
It doesn’t remind you of times you fed someone, hugged another person to comfort them, and show how much you love and appreciate them.
It never reminds you of how fully you have loved and worked so hard to create happiness for not only yourself but for others.
It never reminds you of the wonderful friends you have or your generosity and genuine kindness.
It doesn’t seem to remember any awards you have won, your GPA that you were so proud of, or the happy gatherings with family and also with friends.
It can’t seem to recall that time you did something special for someone and didn’t tell anyone about it – that could be giving money to a homeless person, spending more on your secret Santa gift to give a gift that you believed was worth giving, or that time you had a heart to heart talk with someone to help steer them in a better direction and offered support.
Has your self-talk ever reminded you that you are important? That you are loved? That you are so much more than learning curves, and that those past experiences strengthened your heart and your courage?
Forgiveness
Forgive yourself and if you feel strongly about it, ask for forgiveness from someone you harmed (emotionally or physically) and if given accept it with gratitude and forgive yourself. If you don’t get forgiveness, that is okay, not everyone is ready to evolve and move beyond that past – but you must forgive yourself anyway. I can help you with that if you need help. YOU must also forgive others, even if what they did was so painful, hurtful, and cruel, you must forgive them. I don’t mean to say “ok, I forgive them” That doesn’t work, you forgive from your heart.
You picture that person in your mind without judgment and let the feelings go through your body, stay calm, and let them rise out of you and forgive them. ( Information gathered from the book “The Untethered Soul” By: Micheal A. Singer) You may have to do this a few times but it will be a memory that no longer comes to mind.
Don’t call upon the memory to do this, only do this when it comes to mind and calmly forgive them from your heart. This is for YOU and not to condone or justify their behavior or who they are/were as a person. If you don’t think you can forgive them, I can help you with that also, just book an appointment with me using the link below.
Do you want to be forgiven for things you have done and said? How would you feel if someone you hurt deeply said “I forgive you” and you knew they meant it? I think that would feel amazing and more so if you both discussed it and let them know how you have felt over the years for what you had done. Don’t make excuses for yourself or justify your actions in ANY way, simply accept responsibility for your actions, Don’t blame your childhood or your temper, your zodiac sign, or a third party because at the end of the day YOU choose to behave that way and YOU chose to act in a certain way toward them, so just take responsibility and explain how sorry you are and how your life has been filled with regret because you acted in a way that was not true to who you are. (If that is true).
If you want forgiveness you must forgive – it is a critical intention that will change your life for the better. I wouldn’t dare ask another to forgive me if I had not forgiven others. I have forgiven deceased people, and I have forgiven people who for years I swore I could not ever forgive that s.o.b. but I know I had to find a way to do that and I assure you it took work. If I can do it, I know you can do it too!! There are reasons that some things happen to us and not all of them are because the other party is as evil as you might think. Just as you are not as evil as another may think about you.
In Conclusion
Self Talk can be combated – Here are some tools that you can use – You may need to make a list of all the wonderful qualities about yourself, the good deeds you have done, and the love and compassion you have shown others. This list can be specific to certain memories, for example, if the thought is “you can’t accomplish …” Have on your list “My accomplishments” and when that thought comes stop it and remind yourself, by looking at your list of those- If the thought is about harming another – On your list have a section “The times I have helped others” and list them. You get the idea. Of course in traffic you can’t pull out your list, but over time you will have memorized these and can immediately reflect on them.
As soon as the thought comes – stop it right away by thinking of something you have accomplished.
When you helped another person
What it feels like to do your favorite activity
What is your favorite flower?
What is your favorite sports team?
Something that is the complete opposite of the self-talk such as “idiot” replaces with “everyone has done this, it’s no big deal”
Repeat after me, “I am important and matter more than this thought”
Oh, Hi Brain, I just want to remind you I don’t live there anymore, I live in the present and I need you to get with the times -Then laugh!
As soon as the thought comes “Brain, you are being relentless and so I am going to be also until you recall all the good I have done, the compassion I have shown to myself and others”
Do any of those every time. You can add to this list, please do, and make your positive list to suit the opposite of the memory and if there is something in those memories that you need to address, address them using your heart, if you can’t or need help, book an appointment with me at the mail link down below. Thank you for reading and I hope this content was helpful for you.
With so much gratitude for my ability to write these and so much hope that it helps at least one person – Lisa lisa@holistic-therapy.org
Imagine it is a sunny day, with a clear blue sky, and you are standing on top of the mountain, feeling the gentle, warm breeze through your hair and upon your skin.
You hear the flow of water coming from across the mountain and see water running down the huge rocks
your eyes follow it down to the bottom, you see the clear, splashing pool of water surrounded by rocks , and tall green trees with wildflowers growing through the thick grass, tasting the scent of the flowers.
You can see the butterflies fluttering around the flowers as you catch the glimmer of the sun dancing on top of the stream of water below.
As you look up toward the soft blue sky, you see the ridge-line of the mountain range and its contrast to the sky.
With your arms stretched out, looking over the water and rocks, you take a deep breath as you immerse your senses into your surroundings, and hold that feeling until you are ready to return to the present moment. Created and written by: Lisa M Cliffe on 11/23/2021.
In a world filled with answers at our fingertips, we can get the answers to anything about spirituality – but can we really?
Common Answers to Our Questions
If you just train your brain
If you would meditate for 11 minutes every day
If you meditate enough maybe you will be able to connect with your highest expression, and maybe you will have your own Abraham or Billy Fingers
If you meditate enough your spirit guides may speak directly to you
If you change your diet (organic)
If you meditate on specific topics
If you listen to binaural beats
If you stay positive
If you always think positively and get rid of negative people
If you love yourself first
If you high-five yourself in the mirror
If you get your space clean and organized you will declutter your mind
If you follow the simple 10 steps to wholeness
If you do vision boards you will manifest your desires
If you pay $ amount of dollars someone will access your akashic record
If you meditate enough you may connect, using your 3rd eye to the pleidians to receive messages for earth
You can heal your body of anything, you just have to believe it.
numerology and synchronicity
and the list could go on and on
I am not suggesting any of these are wrong, impossible, or fanciful –
I do know Mel Robbins is most famous for the High-Five Habit and I did try it and she is not wrong, it feels awkward initially but over time it also feels great. Meditating on specific topics helped me a great deal, I have a library of them if you are interested in a session with me. Train your brain takes work but I agree that can be one of the best things we can do and you do that by repetition with your habits and vibration- if you would like to know more contact me using my contact page. I am reading a book by Michael A, Singer called the untethered soul – the journey beyond yourself and I would highly recommend it to anyone who struggles with any of the above-listed ideas. Loving yourself goes without saying but there is more to it than just loving yourself. Numerology and astrology for that matter, in my opinion, are real and I enjoy and use both. The reference to Abraham is the very popular Abraham Hicks publications which I love, and the reference to Billy Fingers is a book by Annie Kagan titled “The Afterlife of Billy Fingers” a story about her departed brother. I read the book and I recommend it to anyone struggling with grief. My youngest brother suddenly died in 2013, and it helped me a great deal. I do know that decluttering your home is one of the best things you can do for your mind, mood, and comfort. When the home is cluttered we generally don’t want to be in it, the exception to that is more likely a hoarder who has an undiagnosed OCPD/ADHD, and depression according to my studies and also the website http://www.adaa.org. Thinking positively is great for you but don’t lie to yourself, if you are upset or angry about something, don’t bury it under the guise of a smile, if you don’t address it properly, I promise you it will eventually keep resurfacing in the mind until you do. Removing negativity isn’t about them – again, it is about you. Spirituality is all about meditation and all things “organic” so it’s a no-brainer I fully agree. What I can’t agree with or know for certain is how long it will take YOU to get where you want to be, to accomplish what you want to and 11 minutes may not be enough. Everyone is different and there are so many people yelling into our ears “just do this” I have heard and read many of the opinions of others and shook my head in horror reading & hearing some of the “information” being thrown out there by well-intentioned people trying to help or perhaps people just trying to capitalize on a subject that is growing and just wants to make money, either way completely wrong advice and upon looking for their education in the area of spirituality, finding none that qualifies them to give any teachings in the subject. I did attend and graduated from a college in Australia to be qualified as a Master Holistic Counselor and Therapist and you can find that information under the “education” tab.
What Do I Know?
I know that there are no absolutes, there isn’t a one size fits all, and there isn’t – for me – any easy out or answer. If you understand, even just a little human behavior and patterns then you understand how all of this information is just too much to process, you ask yourself how can I fit all of this into my everyday life? The truth is most couldn’t so most practice what is easiest – positivity and removing negative people – not understanding the negativity that you are to remove is your own, not that of someone else, they are responsible for their life, and you aren’t.
I really don’t have all the answers – I am taught we are here to love, to be generous with love, compliments, and assistance, to create harmony in our own lives, and to do what we can to remove negativity – not from others, but from ourselves – this isn’t about them, it’s about me and whoever is reading this – it’s about you and not them. That we have inner resources that we can tap into to solve and resolve our issues and also receive answers and I can help you obtain that.
If anything on the list worked for you that is great! I’d love to hear about it.
Thank you for reading. If you found this content relatable and would like to see more like it, please consider donating to the costs associated with running this website. With grace, Lisa.
Particularly, the one with ourselves. This is the most important relationship you will ever have in your lifetime.
If we do not have a healthy relationship with ourselves, we will not have healthy relationships with others and that is a fact. You could still have a good marriage or good friendships on the surface, but if two or even more, passive people co-mingle or marry you look like you’re having fun, but one in each relationship, or more likely all, have resentments they wouldn’t dare speak of or bring up with you (you are passive and they are too) . This breeds resentment, and while you shake them off time and again, there will come a point where it will seem unbearable.
This isn’t shaming you for being passive, though I think it is unhealthy, more to the point, it’s about our relationship with ourselves and honoring our true needs, wants and purpose. When we make decisions that revolve around the “people pleasing” habit (because that is what passive folks do,) we deny ourselves of pleasing ourselves in the situation, and ultimately in our lives. Always compromising and letting others have their way to avoid the argument or exchange is not a healthy relationship with yourself or with “them”. While on the surface, it is quite healthy for the benefactor because of your lack of regard for wants or needs, it’s incredibly unhealthy to live that way day in and out.
Some of the symptoms of this can be:
Insomnia
Anxiety
A pit in your stomach after you gave in
Obsessive thinking about your decision
Likely, you are the one who reaches out to others first and become upset when you don’t get a response or the response is “k”. You feel dismissed, unimportant and not valued.
Dismissed
Read that last line again – “You feel dismissed, unimportant and not valued.” Please do not be surprised by that because when you do not value yourself you can never expect that someone else will. You are more often a reflection of how you turn up in the world. If you feel no one values you – is it because you are not valuing yourself and they act accordingly? If you feel that you are dismissed, could it be because you dismiss your wants and needs for their benefit? If you feel unimportant, could it be because you don’t show you are important by not stating what you want or need? And if you do at times, how passively do you go about that? Passive demands or requests are not taken seriously because I would bet those conversations aren’t spoken with confidence or without wiggle room for the other person.
How To Change it
In just a short time, you can book an appointment with me. Meanwhile you can grab a paper and pen and write and write and write, and don’t stop for 20 minutes. Write freely, openly and quickly, don’t bother with punctuation, spelling or be bothered if you cuss. Just write out your feelings. If you are concerned that someone might find or read them, write, scan, copy to a SDHC card and hide that – burn your writing and the scanned file on your computer. The SDHC cards are easy to hide as they are so small. Each time you write and that should be EVERY DAY, repeat the process. The reason I mention privacy is because I am aware that there are women and men who live with abusive people and nothing there is sacred or private. I have journals for sale on Amazon if you are interested. Here is a link to one
To your inner wisdom, you do this by meditation which I can help you with. All of the answers lie within you. I will be able to empower you to tap into that and more- all for your psychological and physiological well being.
What do we need in life? You know I’ve been thinking about not directly that question, so much as perhaps other people. I have so many questions for those who are adults and continue to put their hands down the side of the seat and dig for as much dirt as they possibly can. They seem to be unable to function unless they can find some kind of dirt on themselves or somebody in their family – ” somebody’s to blame for something” I’m quite sure there are lots of labels and judgments flying around and I want to just say stop!! just stop! I want you to instead remember what it’s like to pick up a piece of construction paper, a bottle of glue, and a pair of children’s scissors and what it was like to draw the heart and then take your scissors to cut the heart following your tracing lines and then paste it to another piece of construction paper where you were building a picture. Recall what “that” process felt like – what that smell was like, the construction paper, glue, and crayons – that peacefulness that calm derived from the therapy of art and creation. Recall, what did it feel like when you picked a daisy or buttercup, and what about the Sunshine? What was it like smelling a batch of cookies or a cake being baked the first time you smelled it? And what was it like feeling your feet in the grass or the soil or on the Sands of the beach – with the warmth of the sun hitting your shoulders and your face? And what did it feel like the first time you had a friend and you looked at each other and you smiled – Or when you opened your favorite coloring book or workbook and colored every picture that you wanted? I think that if we spent our time taking some time focusing on those kinds of memories and in time building upon them for our present – from our childhood and stop digging so hard for so much dirt and start digging hard for so much happiness, or even happy moments because they are going to be so much happier – I know I will be so much happier. I want everyone to be happy, I want everyone to feel safe, and I want everyone to be able to stick their hand down the side of that seat and pull out a handful of Sunshine from somewhere. Thank you for reading. With Gratitude, Lisa
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