Karma

I read something the other day and was shocked to see so many people just agreeing with it – The quote said “be careful who you help, you might be interrupting their karma”. That is so egotistical I can’t even begin to explain properly. So I will simply express this – please don’t think you are that powerful that your kind actions and gestures can override the processes the universe has. We are mere small potatoes compared to the universe and its direction relating to your karma or dharma, and you can look at your own life as an example. Many people swoop in and help another person who has it really rough and trust that was meant to be, it is not always BAD and most times it is not bad at all, but brings good fotune to both parties. By” fortune” I am relating to money- I am talking about something far greater.


Maybe you met someone who just turned your life completely around – in any area of life for your benefit, or you met someone – in any capacity- a romantic interest, a job, bought a car from, whatever and the entire experience drained your resources, energy, spirit, and lust for life. Nothing could stop that, except you by making a different decision. If someone came along during that hard time and gave you money to help you in any way, how did that stop what happened? It didn’t. Why? Because the “thing” happened for you to be in a position to need help from someone else. “The Karma” already happened. Even if you don’t believe in karma, the event that put you in a hard situation occured already.

If someone comes along and tries to steal your happiness from what you have found, worked for, etc – they will not be successful if your good fortune or bad was fated – based on your decisions – that is Karma,
that is a universal plan and no one can interfere with what you have manifested good or not. Karma can come to someone who lives a good, honest life – in that case, it is more likely that its karma carried over from a past life

In closing

Don’t decide to watch another person suffer for any reason, except perhaps your own instinct. Though I can’t imagine my instinct ever saying “let them starve” or “let them freeze”. It may say “get them a hot meal or provide them with a warm coat, hat, gloves, socks, boots, a heat pack, blanket, tent, pillow instead of bringing them home. It might say call them an ambulance. whatever it says, it likely will never guide me to disrespect, degrade, disregard or ignore another human being suffering. I highly doubt yours would either.LMC

Thank you for reading.

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Beliefs

We all have them and we all believe that ours is right – and the thing I want to address is that what works for you, may not for someone else. Respect or at least be tolerant/indifferent of how someone else copes gets by in life – it is, after all, their life.

If their beliefs conflict with reality it may become too much, they will seek answers but until then, don’t tell them they are wrong – how would you feel if someone told you how you manage your life (mind, body and spirituality) was wrong?

Don’t Offer Advice to Those Who Did Not ask you for it – the “I don’t know what do to do” is usually an opening to where you begin to offer the advice – pause and ask – are you asking me for advice? If at that point they aren’t – simply say ” I understand” but don’t be held hostage to the conversation or you will be in an endless loop of “I don’t know what to do – but don’t tell me”. Perhaps say ” I hope you can figure it out” and politely end that conversation.

Sometimes – almost all the time – people want to vent and if you are a friend, listen and refrain from offering advice. Instead, offer comfort. Refrain from “oh I had that happen to me and this is what I did” <– that is advice. They need comfort and encouragement. I am famous for having done that to my friends and family – I am working on correcting that.

This is because people also want to help and it is a natural response to someone going through a rough time.

If they ask, great – give them advice – but don’t do it with an expectation that they will take it. I have heard many people say “don’t come crying to me, I offered you advice and you didn’t listen or take it”. Then you offered the wrong advice or advice that reflects your life and experiences and not theirs and that is why professional counselling is so important.

Holistic Counselling

Holistic Counselling is the way forward for them. This method of counselling is client-centred and aims to empower the client to self-awareness whereby they are given proven tools and techniques, along with counselling to discover the solution to their problem.

Other Modalities

I have been looking into a product called the “harmonic Egg”, there are several businesses (especially here in the United States) with them and I think it is well worth giving them a go.

There is also using “nature”, eating whole foods or live foods – like fresh vegetables and fruits (not raw meat or the sort) When we use the term “live” we mean organic and fresh fruit and vegetables. Everything on earth is “live and living” – us, trees, plants, vegetables, herbs, and so forth. But changing our diet can really impact our energy both physically and spiritually. I am not advocating for vegan diets though I do believe that could be a good change, even if temporary, that you can do for your health – I am advocating for you to eat HEALTHY no matter your diet. Try to avoid sugars, pasta, rice, and white potatoes if you love potatoes as I do, yams have many health benefits but also sugars – I cup has 6 grams of sugar. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweet_potato

Respect

If you are friends with a person who is doing the loop of negative experiences and mindset -quietly distance yourself and protect your positive energy – always I AM NOT suggesting you leave a friend in emotional pain and confusion – but to take time to determine what you have to offer vs what they are willing to truly take on.

You can not change the course they are on, If you can not reason with them and you can’t be there for them – leave space so they can be there for themselves. I realize this sounds cruel, but what they need is professional help and they have to be willing to seek and participate in it. Of course, never ignore signs of self-harm or where you believe they may harm another – call the authorities who are trained to deal with their state of mind with love and compassion.

We need to do better and our self-awareness comes into play here – have a friend that needs to cry and vent? Let them… Offer comfort and try to build their confidence with truthful things about them, but don’t offer advice they aren’t asking for and if you do give advice give that which comes from your heart – it should be based on love, and their well-being and most importantly it should include “please go see a someone”. I say this to protect your energy and to encourage your friend to see me who can empower them to learn the skill of coping and solving or resolving their issues without alienating their friends at the same time and much much more.

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Accountability

I have noticed a lot of people making a business out of life coaching and spiritual endeavors, without any qualifications whatsoever. I am not one to take the stance that someone can’t just “just be good” at something like organizing and that includes your time and spaces. BUT-

When it comes to areas of counselling this can be a big mistake and here is why

I saw a person comment on a thread “you are never responsible for your trauma or mistakes, but you are responsible to heal them”. I disagreed with her right away and though she didn’t answer me, I looked at her profile to see her area of practice and there was nothing in her education that indicates any formal education in psychology, not even the smallest bit or close, there was nothing to show for her courses, as there were none, but she did have a business for “helping woman overcome trauma” and the like and is on every social media you can think of, without one ounce of credibility or education.

When it comes to organizing, I don’t think we need a class, but when it comes to psychology, yes, we do. It is a very complex area.

The Mistake

First – we are in most cases responsible for our trauma and I’ll explain below. We are also responsible for our mistakes. We are NOT responsible to heal our traumas, though we should for our overall mental and emotional well being – if we don’t, that is where we are “responsible” for the consequences that will ensue for ignoring all the red flags -negative signs, negative symptoms and negative life situation(s). To tell someone with such confidence that you are not responsible causes harm. Here are some examples of what I mean-

When you are NOT responsible

You are (were) a child

You were randomly attacked

You were an innocent victim

When you ARE responsible

You put yourself in that situation due to your lifestyle

You made the choice to commit an act that you knew was wrong

You married or made house with a person who you knew was abusive to you and your children

You stay in situations that you KNOW are dangerous and harmful

You committed a crime

We Can Also Be Responsible For Others

Take for example that person (a) is responsible for children, either their own or those of others and they allow, in ANY way, harm to come to them – they are responsible, intentional or not. If there was a reasonable way that they could have better protected and shielded them from harm and didn’t – they are responsible.

Verbal abuse – If you verbally abuse people you are responsible for your words

If you assault anyone – you are responsible

If you neglect someone in your care – you are responsible

If you say cruel things to children or other disadvantaged people – you are responsible for that.

To This end

NEVER pay anyone for a service who are not qualified to provide it – check them out – ask for their credentials, and be sure they match up with what they are saying they are educated in and selling you –

People will tell what you want to hear to get paid, don’t buy into that. I just showed you just a few ways where we are and are not responsible and even with those there are hidden benefits, yes we benefit in many cases of our mistakes and our traumas that are not seen by the eye but felt in the mind – what did it teach me? Of course, a child being abused in any way is horrific, yet they still learn who not to trust, they still learn to trust their instinct (and that is sad because they probably did but the caretaker or parent didn’t trust the child’s instinct) however, this child will grow into an adult and if this child has children, guess who is going to trust her children’s instinct about someone? Guess who is going to protect her child(ren) and his or herself? The only issue here is, the child needed therapy to deal with the trauma so they don’t become overprotective, overbearing, or a recluse. Children are resilient they say – maybe, but they are not bulletproof and they are not capable of unpacking all the trauma.

Thank you for reading.

Lisa

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Toxic Positivity

This is a thing – and it is -I believe derived from many different sources that give conflicting advice, which by the way is ear always unqualified people that are on social media on every app spreading their view and ill informed “opinions” as fact.

No, you do not have to be and nor should you be positive all of the time, when you do that, you are denying yourself the means to cope with challenging situations, shrugging it off with a smile, and focusing on something else is harmful. You not only have a right but an obligation to yourself to take a negative situation and work out how you can cope with it REALISTICALLY. Burying our head in the sand time and time again can create chronic stress among other things -avoidance via “just be positive” isn’t going to work in the long haul.

Another trait of toxic positive people is the refusal to listen to a friend’s problems, or attend a family function because one person they dislike will be there (If they are so positive, why wouldn’t they be able to make it into a positive day anyway?) Because it’s toxic. Another is the refusal to see or even consider another’s viewpoint – especially if it isn’t draped in white fairy dust with a sprinkle of glitter to obscure reality.

While it is great to be positive as much as we can -we also have real challenges, we deal with and are exposed to grief and loss, betrayal’s, financial issues, bills, homelessness, hunger, divorce, separations, and the news. We have to deal with our emotions and not bury our heads in fairy dust. We can deal with them by considering the most positive way we can digest it all, but to do that we have to face it and reconcile it.

A toxic positive person begins to lack empathy and compassion – you can tell them how devastated you are about a betrayal for example, and instead of hearing you out you are dismissed with a quick, “oh you are better off without them” type of answer – this is NOT being a good friend, as you were not asked questions such as what happened? How are you feeling? Is there anything I can do to help? When someone dismisses your feelings, they are toxic, whether it’s with positivity or not,

Lisa M C.

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Coping with Change

Change can be something small like new decor, a new job, a new neighborhood, or a completely new life, such as moving from one country to another.


Depending on how change affects you, will depend on how you cope with it.
There really isn’t an easy fix, it’s individual.

I can offer this, try to live in the moment, don’t over think scenarios, past or present. just stay in the present. Surround yourself with truly positive people. Do stay clear of toxic positivity -yes that exists –

If you are struggling with a change in your life, feel free to contact me for available times and rates.

Lisa M C

contact

lisa@holistic-therapy.org

1 Hour of counseling – select payment above and email for your desired time and date –
Thank you

Why I chose Holistic Counseling

There are many reasons for this choice. I will make a list of why below

  • I wanted to help people, especially children and the lonely elderly as well as those struggling with no one really helping or listening
  • Having always been a person who has believed in a higher power and spirituality it was and is a perfect fit
  • Medications are necessary for some people but not all. Often times we have been prescribed medications for life events that we can solve or resolve medication-free – leaving our bodies healthier and our minds. Sometimes also a herbal remedy or essence is just as appropriate – and I will make a post about many of them.
  • I have always been a solver – I like to be involved and help how I can, but without the education to know what is and what is not appropriate – such as the “if I were you” approach is inappropriate – I never knew that! And it was something I had said and demonstrated for years – never realizing it is basically dismissive and disempowers my friend or colleague from the ability to resolute the issue themselves. Also, there is the “Oh, yes, I know what you mean” and off the speaker goes about situations that relate to the friend’s issue at hand – NOT a good way to help anyone- It is something we have all done to “relate” to the issue and believe innocently that it comforts them – but the reality is – the whole thing goes from your friend’s issue to YOURS! Not helpful.
  • I also love that this is not meant to keep a client entangled in therapy for years – its purpose is to empower the client so they are spiritually armed for the situation they came in for but also situations like it in the future. This kind of counseling is to EMPOWER you to connect with your inner resources.!

Any Questions?

Just ask, I am always happy to assist and my true desire is to empower as many people as I possibly can.

Lisa